I have given Aerosmith some love, now it’s time to make like a riot at an Oakley’s Factory and throw some serious shade at them.  Some of their songs are good but some are HOT PILES OF STINKING GARBAGE!  Here is our list of Aerosuck’s HOT PILE OF STINKING GARBAGE SONGS!  *said in a monster truck rally echo*

  1.  Dude (Looks Like A Lady)- First of all, two fingers to this band for mocking Motley Crue, they lived a faster life than you could’ve dreamed of while you were considering Driving Miss Daisy to be too fast for you at this point in your career.  Plus, I understand it came out in the 80’s but it’s 2018, so what if a dude looks like a lady! At least they were comfortable with who they were unlike your commercial having asses.

2.  Rag Doll- The most annoying song that has the line do it til you’re dizzy.  Some have tried that while jamming this song and vomiting induced.  Plus who cares if you’ve never seen someone leave by the back door?

3.  Livin On The Edge

This song starts off with so much potential, yet it doesn’t take off.  It sounds like it’s tired.  I expect a song called “Livin’ On The Edge” to be taking you to the edge, not peering through a pair of binoculars due to safety!  This song is way too safe for me!

4.  I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing- Yes you do, after hearing this song, sometimes things are worth missing out on.  Like waiting til tomorrow to start that diet, taking a rain check on hanging out with that someone, or in this case, hearing this song ever again in your freaking life.  Plus don’t kiss anyone’s eyes, it stings.

5.  Legendary Child- You are pushing 70, you are not a “child”.  Get over yourself Aerosmith.

6.  Girls Of Summer- What in the hot stinking pile of hot garbage is this?  I really really try to keep an open mind when bands try new things, make that bluesy rock that you’re solid at, not this stuff!

7.  Walk This Way- I have always despised this song.  I get why it’s a hit, it’s catchy, it’s snappy, but what were you doing in the locker room when they were looking at you? And you didn’t get arrested or expelled from school or fired from your job?  Offensive!

8.  Falling In Love(Is So Hard On The Knees)- Talk about the most underwhelming song in their catalog.  A song that takes no risks, yet plays it safe.  Based on the song title, their knees must feel fine due to the extra padding they fell on.  I don’t know what I’m saying.

9.  Just Push Play- You’re gonna hear it anyway.  Not when I have the song on skip or on pause.  I’d rather hear nothing than this song.  And Steven Tyler, you are much too talented for autotune, please refrain from it.

10.  Aerosmith- Crazy, too bluesy, too whiny, too bored, the song goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.  *taxes finished* first chorus happens.  *pizza delivered* second verse starts.  See you can get a lot done from listening to this one song.

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